Tue, 25 Mar 2025 13:48:35 -0500WeeblyTue, 08 Mar 2016 18:53:38 GMThttps://www.fbclakebenton.org/blog/biblical-principles-of-dating-and-their-practical-applicationsThe main points are biblical principles and the subpoints are personal applications based on my own experience and on counsel from others.

1. Maintain Sexual Purity before and during marriage. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8; Hebrews 13:4 – A person should have sexual relations only with his or her spouse.
   1. Do not sexually excite anyone before marriage and only your spouse after marriage.
      1. Physical contact
      2. Provocative conversations, letters, emails, texts, internet chat, etc.
      3. Immodest or Suggestive Clothing
   2. Do not seek sexual excitement for yourself before marriage and only from your spouse after marriage.
      1. No pornography – neither Visual nor Aural (Romance novels, explicit music, etc.)
      2. No masturbation
   3. Do not enter circumstances that tend toward sexual temptation.
      1. No single dating, especially for immature teens. Time in isolation is not necessary for good relationships, especially for those not ready for marriage.
      2. No late nights or lights out, even with company
      3. Avoid unplanned time. Don’t just “hang out”. – “Idle hands are the devil’s playground.”
      4. Alone in a vehicle often spells trouble. Drive and stay in groups.
      5. Get busy doing good things (religious activities, service opportunities, etc.) to avoid getting busy with bad things.
2. Maintain Spiritual Purity before and during marriage. 1 Kings 11:4; 21:25; Proverbs 13:20; 20:19; 22:24; 24:21; 1 Corinthians 5:11; 15:33; 2 Corinthians 6:14 – A believer must only marry another believer.
   1. Do not date non-Christians because dating is for the purpose of marriage.
   2. Date only faithful followers of Jesus Christ. – You will become like the person you marry.
   3. Avoid future conflict by dating and marrying a person of very similar doctrinal and practical convictions.
3. Marital Intimacy includes more than just sexual intercourse. Genesis 2:24-25; Proverbs 4:23 – Marriage is the union of two into one. That intimate union should only exist within marriage.
   1. Avoid exclusive dating relationships until you are ready to be engaged.
      1. Maintain your privacy. Physical intimacy must be saved for marriage, but you should protect your emotional intimacy also. Intimacy comes with commitment and trust. Be honest but guarded.
      2. Keep a barrier of modesty and propriety. Modesty is the mystery of romance and the veil of the heart. Don’t give yourself away before marriage. Save something to give to your spouse at your wedding. Be honest! Don’t deceive someone into loving something that you are not. Display your character honestly, but save more than just your body for your spouse.
      3. Communicate your expectations of privacy and modesty to your date. You can harm your friend greatly by your silence. Be fair to them. Don’t lead them to expect more from you than you are willing or able to give. If you have little or no long-term hope for the relationship, communicate that to your friend so he or she does not assume anything more.
4. Marriage is the normal adult situation for men and women. Genesis 2:18; Proverbs 18:22; 1 Corinthians 7 – As part of Creation, God established marriage and blessed it. God expects adults to be married, except in special situations, in which He gives a gift of celibate singleness for a certain time or ministry.
   1. Seek God’s will for your life. If God wants you to serve Him in a dangerous area, perhaps you should consider postponing or abstaining from marriage. For God’s sake, you might not want to bring a wife and children into such a situation so you would choose to remain celibate and single. God gives special enablement to some of His servants to remain single for His special purposes. Marriage and children would only serve as a distraction from some special tasks that God gives (1 Corinthians 7:29-33).
   2. Unless receiving some direction from God otherwise, one should work to make oneself “marriageable”. Work hard in your education. Establish a career direction. As you mature physically, be sure to mature spiritually and emotionally. GROW UP! Learn responsibility.
   3. Plan and prepare for marriage. Without distracting from your service to God, look for a Godly spouse.
   4. CULTURAL NOTE – Our modern society expects a higher living standard than is necessary. One must plan wisely, but one must also not use “career advancement” as an excuse to avoid God’s plan of marriage for his or her life.
5. Marriage unites a man and woman. Genesis 2:20-25; Romans 1:24-32 – Homosexual unions defy God’s institution of marriage so a person should only consider dating a person of the opposite gender.
   1. Despite the media popularity, we must not condone homosexual unions. Homosexuality is not a joke. It is a sin that we must guard against and help others to repent of.
   2. Sexual experimentation outside of marriage flagrantly rebels against God’s plan for our lives. Eventually, God gives people over to their own lusts so that they reap the evil that they have sown. Beware profligacy.
6. Marriage unites for life. Matthew 5:32; 1 Corinthians 7:39 –Divorce reflects man’s failure in marriage.
   1. One should date carefully and deliberately so that he takes every precaution to avoid failure in marriage.
   2. In this world, one cannot completely avoid sin. Marriage is still the union of two sinners. Because of sin, no marriage can be perfect, but God can forgive and cleanse any sin. The best strategy for a successful marriage is to unite two dedicated disciples of Jesus Christ. As each pursues God’s best for his or her life, Christ will unite them.
   3. In the artificial relationship of dating, one person might deceive another. Be careful not to be deceived and even more careful that you do not deceive someone else as to the quality of your character.
7. Flee sexual sin (fornication). Genesis 39:12; Matthew 5:28-30; Romans 13:14; 1 Corinthians 6:18 – Do not try simply to resist sexual temptation. Avoid it if possible, and run away from it if you encounter it.
   1. RUN AWAY FROM SEXUAL SIN! We think we are stronger than we are. Satan is waiting to devour us. Avoid sexual temptation because it will eat you up if you stay.
   2. If your television tempts you with sexual images, get rid of your television service. If your computer tempts you with sexual images or explicit chatting, get rid of your internet service. If your music tempts you with suggestive rhythms and words, get rid of your radio. Do what it takes to avoid temptation, and you will save yourself from much sin.
   3. Use your family and friends to help you escape from sexual temptation and sin. Parents, communicate extensively with your children so you know where they are and who they are with. Young people, stay in groups that will hold you accountable for righteous behavior.
8. Interior quality trumps exterior beauty. 1 Samuel 16:7; Proverbs 11:22; 31:30; Matthew 12:33-35; 1 Timothy 2:9-10 – We can examine outward beauty easily, but we must look beyond that. Good character is the substance beneath that supports and enhances the outward trappings of true beauty.
   1. Guard your hearts and minds from the world’s influence that tries to convince us that the exterior is most important. Don’t conform to the world. Transform your thinking to think like Christ.
   2. Dress modestly and encourage others to do so also. Be convinced of the danger of immodest clothing and behavior.
   3. Guard your conversation with family and friends so that you do not judge people by their exterior but rather by their character.
   4. Focus your attention on your own character rather than just your exterior. Invest more time considering how you might improve your spiritual qualities rather than your physical qualities.

​]]>Sun, 05 Jul 2015 03:29:24 GMThttps://www.fbclakebenton.org/blog/god-and-country-christian-patriotism

1. Introduction
   
   
1. God Bless America! A Christian should pray for and desire God’s blessing on his or her country. Christianity will include believers from every tongue and people and nation. Christianity supersedes any nationality, yet God still commands us to honor and pray for kings and countries. Christ’s kingdom is not of this world (John 18:36), but for now we still live in this world.
   
   
2. Patriotism is not necessary to Christian worship, but it does not need to be contradictory.
   
   
3. Patriotism appreciates one’s own country. A Christian patriot would love God supremely while loving his country subordinately. He would thank God for the beliefs, values and traditions that he enjoys within his country. God receives all glory as his people enjoy His good gifts.
   
   
2. Patriotic character
   
   
1. Those who have invested the most in a country seem to care the most about that country. Military veterans may have the greatest claim on patriotism. They have given themselves for the good of the country. Many of these patriots demonstrate that love for God does not exclude love for country.
   
   
2. Army Core Values - Loyalty, Duty, Respect, Selfless Service, Honor, Integrity, and Personal Courage. Navy and Marines Core Values - Honor, Courage, Commitment (Marines - Semper Fidelis “Always Faithful”). Air Force Core Values - Integrity first, Service before self, Excellence in all we do.
   
   
3. A Christian can love and serve God and love and serve his country at the same time. To honor one does not require us to ignore or dishonor the other.
   
   
3. Honoring a nation does not require worship and can exist under worship of God
   
   
1. 1 Peter 2:17  Honour all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honour the king.
   
   
2. 1 Timothy 2:1-4  I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men;  2  For kings, and for all that are in authority; that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty.  3  For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Saviour;  4  Who will have all men to be saved, and to come unto the knowledge of the truth.
   
   
3. “Honour the king”  - Although the United States does not have a king, we may understand king (metonymy) to represent our government or nation. Beyond obedience, God commands us to honor. This honor likely includes the ideas of loyalty, service, duty and obedience.
   
   
4. God also commands us to pray for our country’s leaders. Our prayers ultimately aim at quiet, peaceable, godly, honest living in our country. God wants us to seek the peace and spiritual prosperity of our nation.
   
   
4. Honor Country similar to Honor Parents
   
   
1. No person, no family, no community, no country is perfect and sinless. The OT records the faults and failures of God’s chosen nation Israel. No other country can claim God’s special blessing that Israel enjoyed, but God still establishes kings and kingdoms. God has ordained this nation and these leaders for us, and he commands us to honor them. Our national identity does not change every four years with one administration replacing another. Our traditions, our history and our values identify us as a people and nation. We honor our leaders and nation not because of their current decisions, but because of God’s providential provision for us through them. We honor them because we honor God.
   
   
2. Just as God commands us to honor our parents, who are flawed, we honor our country, which is flawed. Neither a drunken father, a maniacal emperor, nor a philandering president relieves us of our obligation to honor.
   
   
3. Daniel 2:21  And he changeth the times and the seasons: he removeth kings, and setteth up kings: he giveth wisdom unto the wise, and knowledge to them that know understanding:
   
   
4. Romans 13:7  Render therefore to all their dues: tribute to whom tribute is due; custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honour to whom honour.
   
   
5. Worship of God includes recognition of his work in our lives including our nation
   
   
1. Worship is the recognition and proclamation of God’s greatness in his person and his works.
   
   
2. We need not separate his person and works. We love him because he loved us. Our experience of God provides opportunity for worship. We can worship God for his work in our family, community and country.
   
   
6. Worship of God includes giving thanks for blessings
   
   
1. Psalms 103:2  Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits:
   
   
2. Ephesians 5:20  Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;
   
   
3. We should thank God for our country. The details of thankfulness may vary for citizens of different countries. God has placed us in this country and given us these leaders. We should glorify God for his benefits even in our country.
   
   
7. Worship of God is not limited to a formal service, and honor of parents and authorities is not excluded from corporate worship. Priority always belongs to God, but subordinate honor can be recognized for God’s glory.
   
   
1. How should Christians worship God corporately? Prayer, fellowship, service, singing, Scripture reading, giving, ordinances, preaching.
   
   
2. The regulative principle of worship would not exclude prayer for our country and its leaders as commanded in Scripture. It would not exclude songs which praise God for his grace in our families and country. It would not prevent us from honoring our authorities as we pray for God to provide peace and godliness through them as Scripture commands.
   
   
3. We must beware that honoring our country for God’s sake does not become worshipping our country in place of God. We must not love God’s benefits more than we love God himself.
   
   
8. Although a representative government is uncommon in history, American churches have a special opportunity and responsibility through their members to elect and encourage moral government.
   
   
1. Exodus 18:21  Moreover thou shalt provide out of all the people able men, such as fear God, men of truth, hating covetousness; and place such over them, to be rulers of thousands, and rulers of hundreds, rulers of fifties, and rulers of tens:
   
   
2. We have the special opportunity to elect our own leaders. We understand that God still ordains our leaders, but we bear the moral responsibility to vote in our country. We should not divorce the church’s input or influence from that choice. We may not be able to endorse a certain candidate or party, but we can educate and inform our people towards godly decisions. We must teach our people to think and vote according to biblical standards. As the OT prophets spoke boldly about the spiritual condition of Israel, the church must not be silent about our country’s spiritual condition.
   
   
9. Conclusion
   
   
1. Beware of nationalism. Patriotism can evolve into a superior attitude and worship of one’s nation.
   
   
2. Scripture commands us to honor, be thankful for and pray for our nation. This does not mean that our nation is better than another, but we can still worship God for His grace expressed to us through our families and countries.
   
   

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